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Jake's Mom & Dad's Place

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jake2.jpg, Christmas 2001, 30.1KB
H ello! As you may have guessed by now my name is Jake. My Mom and Dad are at work right now, believe me it gets pretty boring around here. I usually entertain myself by watching T.V. My favorite channel is the animal planet. My favorite show is Good Dog U. Every once in a while the Rottweiler from a crossed the street drops by and demands we watch the Playboy Channel: if people only knew what we are thinking they would never undress in front of the family pet. He has been drinking up all my Dad's beer again, as usual this makes him quite amorous as he tries to hump my Mom's nightgown. I can see I'm in big trouble again so I'm creating this web site to help smooth things over because there is no way I will be able to clean up the mess before Mom and Dad get home, like I normally do. So on your left you will see links to some of the other pages I have made, mostly pictures right now but I plan to include other things as time goes by so don't for get to come back now and then for the updates.

06/28/2004 02:55 PM

I really try hard to be a good boy but sometimes trouble has a way of finding me. Like the time I ran away from home and was caught by the Rabies Control people. I sure was glad to see Dad's face when he drove out to Clayton to pick me up. I thought he was going to go #2 when he found out it was going to cost $50.00 to spring me. I had a lot of making up to do in order to get out of the doghouse that time. You see that was not the only time I ran away, there were three other times, Mom says I get a wild hair every now and then what ever that means. I have been all across the U.S. and Canada, Mexico too. Dad says I have left my mark in every state in the union and then some. Most of the other dogs around here have never seen the things I have. When Dad is working in the yard I try to tell them about it. We all get into a big conversation, every one of us in the neighborhood. I have become quite a celebrity around here, famous even. To protect my house and yard I leave as many land mines as I possibly can to catch unsuspecting intruders: till Mom found out now she makes me go way out back. They say it's a dog's life, I don't know about that, but it's time to give my self a bath. Maybe if people could enjoy the simple pleasures their lives would not be so stressful. Oh well, some thing to think about...time for a nap.

Personal Information

Name- Jake Dylewski

Born- December 3, 1994

Place of Birth- Saint Louis, Missouri

Height- 2' at shoulder

Eyes- brown

Occupation- Home Security

Favorite Foods- ice cream, chicken, and steak (medium rare)

Love Interest- his Mom, but fantasizes about Britney Spears

Favorite Artist- Ozzy

Favorite Toy- yellow rubber football, inflatable Britney doll (Whoops how did that get in here?)

Jake's Favorite Links List

Check out this list of memorable sites now and later for periodic updates. This site is best viewed using the three following browsers and or viewers:

http://www.microsoft.com/ windows/ie/downloads/ie6/default.asp

Flash Player 6 And Shockwave Player

Begin Link List:

http://zone.msn.com/outsmart/

http://www.musicbuilder.com/ Phone_Losers_of_America/

http://www.studentfreestuff.com/ celebrity_prank_calls.html

Name at Birth- Benjamin Haller

Adopted- June 1, 1995

Length- 4' 3'', nose-tail

Weight- 100 lbs.

Color- brown w/black highlights, white chest and socks

Favorite Music- Classic Rock